Facing judgment, facing the past.

Well it has been a very interesting week. Earlier a friend posed the question of which you held more faith and trust in, the 2nd Amendment or the Bible (those that live by the sword...). My first reaction was to respond with criticism and how our country was founded by people with strong Christian backgrounds. However the more I thought about it the more I came to the conclusion about how this question wasn't so easy to answer for me. I am a firm believer in God and His love for us. God had answered my demand (yes, little me made a demand to God but that's another story for another time) by not allowing me to die and giving me a reason to live. Though I am not well versed in the Bible and not deserving of His mercy or love I do believe at the end of my time I will have to face the judgement of Jesus alone for my actions. With that thought I say this, no one will harm or attempt to harm my family without stepping over my body first. Now whether this is right or wrong I cannot say but it is how I feel. If it means I face damnation, then so be it.
The week ended with getting in touch with a long lost brother from the Marine Corps. We had a great talk catching up and some things were giving new insight. While I understand things might not have changed had I deployed with my boys to Iraq, it is still hard to shake the feeling of letting them down. I remember them showing up as slick sleeves and PFCs and watched them evolve into fine NCOs. Just a little insight on me, family is not just defined as blood relatives. I have 'adopted' a few people as family and would do anything I can for. Those men I served with I consider family, my boys, my brothers. When I had heard of Erik's death it cut deep. My thanks Stan for the insight and though we'll probably never get things straightened out in our heads I pray we'll at least come to grips with the past.