Step, step, step.

Muscles across my back scream in protest. Lungs gasp for air as I struggle to breath through the neck gaiter over my face. Step, step, step. This is not how I envisioned this going. Step, step. I fleeting memory floats in reminding me of a decision to warm up before I start to run outside in really cold temps. Another memo to me, warm up the body before starting these cold runs. Step, step, step. 

Coming up on the the selected turn around point I made ten minutes into this run. The half mile marker. Wait a second. My muscles don't hurt so bad and my breathing is a little better. Perhaps I can go just a little further.

 Ho hum. Waiting for traffic to go by. My core is cold but I feel alright so far. 

Step, step, step. Must be feeling better cause my thoughts are less of how sucky this is to random thoughts now. Wind is bad through here. My core is is getting cold. I'm glad I'm not barefoot today. I would hate to think how bad my feet would be today if I'm having a hard time keeping my core warm. Maybe I'm not going to make Gene Field today. Step, step, step.

 Muscles are relaxed now, they seem happy to have a familiar movement, rhythm going now. My breathing is better....lungs aren't screaming for air now. Step, step. Gene Field is only 1/4 mile away. I can make it.

Three little beeps in my right ear remind me to change my hearing aid batteries soon. Crap, I put my neck gaiter above my ears, I hope I don't drop them. 

Turn around point and headed home. A quick check tells me that I haven't yet. Neck gaiter is damp from my breath. Core is cold and I'm thinking that it would suck to fall out of my own run. Step, step, step. 

No thoughts now, just head down and keep stepping.

Core is cold. Only 1/4 mile or so left. 

Step, step, step. Last little hill. 

Walking inside I'm thinking that I might need to add a layer or two next time. 

oh, there I am

      O.K. So its been awhile. Ya sorry. Since I last talked I have turned almost entirely to barefoot running. Well, maybe entirely is better cause I can't remember the last time I ran in sandals let alone shoes. Oh and I'm loving it. My feet are feeling better, tougher. Running down my street used to feel like running on a giant cheese grater. Now it's not so bad. I have even started running the winter challenge on the Barefoot and Minimalist Runners facebook page. Problem was when it finally did get cold enough to run at the 32 to 23F level I was feeling sick already and when I am cold in 75 degree temps, running barefoot out in colder temps my not be the best idea. So....I can't wait for the next cold spell. I've also started working in some trail runs into the regular runs. Those are working well too. I have figured out that springing my step more and running flat to fore foot works a lot better for me on the down hills. I had had knee pain when I first started working barefoot trail runs into the "training program". Figuring out what worked better at cutting that pain back out was awesome. All the rocks, shells, and roots are just something you have to learn how to deal with I guess. All in all I am happy with how my running is going, I just wish I could get out more. Hard making time right now without sacrificing to much sleep. It does seem to keep my mood at a better level. I even was able to run with a friend once or twice. Let me tell you, running by yourself is good, running with friends is better. Cept almost all my friends have regular jobs or live hours+ away.
    Anyway, don't be a stranger (like me) and I will talk atcha later. Thanks for reading.

   

Laying rubber.

Ok, I have jumped on the band wagon. I'm hooked. I ran the Hospital Hill half-marathon over the weekend in my huaraches. Let me be honest too, I did not train like I should have either. Just ask my wife. In fact, looking back, I don't recall doing a run longer than 6 miles at a time. When I did run it was 2 to 3 miles at a time. So just going into the run I was hoping that I would at least finish. The thing was I had run mostly in my huaraches and was concerned that going back to regular running shoes would screw with my form.
Not only did I not hurt as much as I did the previous year after the run but I managed to shave off 14 minutes off my time. A new PR. So laugh if you want at my home made sandals, I'm happy with them.

Reflections on the past.

It is Memorial Day. Time to reflect on the sacrifices so many service members have paid. Although I consider all service members my brothers and sisters, there are the special few I had the pleasure and honor to serve with. Jose Alvarez was a true inspiration and somebody I wanted and aspired to emulate as an NCO. Can Solar was a wonder of an individual, always seeking knowledge and willing to share it with everyone. Jason Duke, well he was a kindred spirit. Adam Neely was the first friend I made in my last unit. Erik Silva was one of my boys. Each had an impact on my life I will never forget.
Whether you know someone personally or not. Whether you choose to support them or not. Just know, our history as a nation has been built upon the blood, sweat, and tears of people that were willing to die for what they believed in. How we choose to honor that memory reflects on us as a society and a civilization.

Running through the haze.

Sleep is still coming rough. Some nights are better than others but days still blur together. I'm not sure why, dreams maybe.

Running is going great. Feet are toughening up and I think I just might run the Hospital Hill Half Marathon in my huaraches. I prefer them now over regular running shoes. I think I've run in regular shoes...maybe twice...since I've made the huaraches. Only had one blow out during a run too. The 550 cord I used wore down at the toe knot. It was a pretty easy fix too. Just a matter of taking the extra cord and lacing it back through the toe hole. Though having a knife and a lighter at the time would have been handy. I've been working hills more lately. It sucks at the time but feels good after. Sort of a "more you sweat in training, less you bleed in combat" type thing. I'm getting back to the point were I know I can run it so that feels good.

Asking for prayers on getting this new job I applied for. It is right in the area that I want to get into. Only bad part is it takes me away from my running buddies. Not that I run with them a lot, but they are an awesome group of people. Happy to have them in my life.
Guess that's about it for now. Take care.

No more...ever!

Oh man, it has been a weird week. I haven't slept well at all, Bri will tell you I seem to sleep fine but as many times as I wake up at night....I do not feel rested. I have to get rid of Riddick. I don't have the money to build him a fence and that is really what he needs. And somebody that will let him in the house. Its just not fair to him. So he really has to go.

Gonna miss him. 

My laptop died and I had to re-install everything. Still in the process of getting the Wi Fi to work. It basically got itself into a looping problem. It would have a start error then it would try to fix it, couldn't fix it so it would restart itself. Looping back the whole problem. Ya, it was fun. Good thing I got the HP working again or I would go nuts. 

Well I took a couple of days off for the Achilles Tendon pain and have not had issues so far. Thinking I'm gonna get some miles logged in at some point tomorrow. Not sure when though. Bri says it was from my huaraches but I started having that pain before I started running in those. So....in the end who knows? God does, not me. That's about it for now just had a few thoughts a felt like sharing.

No regrets.

Yup, been a couple of weeks. I was wiped out last Sunday and just never got around to catching up. I would like to say I have something extra but...my memory sucks and don't remember everything that happened. Sad, isn't it? That's what concussions, among other things, will do for you though.

I did find out that I am getting hit with the sequestration though. Oh boy, many thanks to the politicians that don't have to loose pay. I am in the market for a second job. Not that we can't make it but I don't like just squeeking by. I wish they would feel the pain they are causing to the rest of America.

Its official, I am done with school. Now comes the fun part of trying to end one chapter and start another of my life. It would be nice to find a different job using my degree and not have to need a second job but...that might be asking too much. Guess I should be thankful for what I still have. At any rate...I am getting by. Days come and go and I take it one step at a time. Some are still better than others and a good night's sleep is hard to come by. In the end though as far as I know I will still be able to stand and face judgement with no regrets.

Expectations

I know, I'm a day late. Well, two now that its Tuesday. Oh well deal with it. I had my final comp. and pen. today with my Dr. Looking to have some issues I have service connected with the VA. It was interesting to say the least. I hope my disability at least stays the same. Problem with these comp. and pens. is they can go in any direction. Service connected or not, ratings can go up or down. Drs. give their opinion and the final decision goes to some people using charts and graphs whom I've never talked with. Not sure that's right but I can't think of a better way so I'll stay quiet about it.
I got a run in today. Felt really good. Ran in my home made huaraches

 for 3.35 miles on mostly pavement. Minor friction burne, but I think those will happen until my feet toughen up. Got a good upper body work out in too. 16 pull ups and 70 push ups along with an ab workout. Happy with that. My plan is to have my feet toughened up by June 1st to run the the Hospital Hill Half Marathon in my huaraches. We'll see I guess. Anyway that's about it for now. Take care y'all.

Running strong

What a week. I'm am happy we, as a nation, can pull together and overcome horrific events. However I am sad that it seems to be the only thing unites us as a nation. To see an entire city work together to find the nutjob and take him alive was incredible.
A friend of mine remarked about how he felt drawn to run the Boston Marathon in the next few years. I have to agree, though I don't think I will make the qualification time. What makes a statement like his awesome is it shows that we will not back down. Runners everywhere united, running to remember those lost and injured and showing the world that our spirit is not broken. How could it be, the very nature of our sport is a personal challenge to keep going even when it hurts the most. That and this nation will shut down an entire city to find you if we have to.

Facing judgment, facing the past.

Well it has been a very interesting week. Earlier a friend posed the question of which you held more faith and trust in, the 2nd Amendment or the Bible (those that live by the sword...). My first reaction was to respond with criticism and how our country was founded by people with strong Christian backgrounds. However the more I thought about it the more I came to the conclusion about how this question wasn't so easy to answer for me. I am a firm believer in God and His love for us. God had answered my demand (yes, little me made a demand to God but that's another story for another time) by not allowing me to die and giving me a reason to live. Though I am not well versed in the Bible and not deserving of His mercy or love I do believe at the end of my time I will have to face the judgement of Jesus alone for my actions. With that thought I say this, no one will harm or attempt to harm my family without stepping over my body first. Now whether this is right or wrong I cannot say but it is how I feel. If it means I face damnation, then so be it.
The week ended with getting in touch with a long lost brother from the Marine Corps. We had a great talk catching up and some things were giving new insight. While I understand things might not have changed had I deployed with my boys to Iraq, it is still hard to shake the feeling of letting them down. I remember them showing up as slick sleeves and PFCs and watched them evolve into fine NCOs. Just a little insight on me, family is not just defined as blood relatives. I have 'adopted' a few people as family and would do anything I can for. Those men I served with I consider family, my boys, my brothers. When I had heard of Erik's death it cut deep. My thanks Stan for the insight and though we'll probably never get things straightened out in our heads I pray we'll at least come to grips with the past.

Not right...in the head

So my week ended pretty darn good. I had two good sessions of therapy, one with my group (yup, finally went back) and the other was running in the Brew to Brew run (yup, finally got some miles logged in). I had a great time with my teammates, The Ginger Ales. I "ran"two of the ten legs and had a really good time. Nice to get out and relieve some stress and stretch the legs. We couldn't have asked for better weather either 70s ish with overcast and a light breeze.
As always the casts of characters running are colorful and energetic. We had bunnies, carrots, bottles of beer, and the justice league with all types of crazy costumes in between. We had the serious runners out to win and the runners out to have serious fun. But the one common trait we all shared was the enjoyment of running. It didn't/doesn't matter how fast, how new, or how experienced we all had/have a common bond. That, I think, is why it seems to help me so much. That special understanding between another that says 'yea, I'm going to take most other sports form of training or punishment and do it for fun, so what?'

Crappy week

My daughter turned 17 this last week. I miss her. I pray she grows up well.
I have to find Riddick a new home. The story is I am facing sequestration and won't be able to afford to keep him. I'm gonna miss him too. That's all I have for now people. At least that I'm willing talk about right now anyway.

Comfortably numb?

So spring is here. The only reason I state the obvious is it seems to be such a big deal that it snowed here in MO on Saturday. You would have thought the magnetic poles were shifting the way some people were acting. I think of it as karma though. After all, we did have some unusually warm weather during winter this year. I dunno, when you think about it (or when I think about it really) it seems to be a reflection of how quickly we as Americans can forget things. My point is this year is the twelfth anniversary of 911. Did you realize that? Quick, how long ago was Bin Ladin killed? You see, we desensitize events like that as a means of moving on. The problem with this, and I'm guilty of it too, is its not really moving on. Its a refusal to face reality and work it out. My whole life has potholes of events I don't remember for whatever reason but still naw at me from the edges of sanity. I guess what I'm saying is we need to start facing our problems instead of ignoring them before we forget how great this nation is or was (depending on point of view)
Yup, all that from a snowfall in spring time.

Special kinds of idiots.

I have no use for wannabe thugs. Try and play cool or tough to someone else that might be impressed. I had this dude tonight try and bring a hot handgun onto a federal installation and then tried to act all tough and cool about it. That is until he realized it would be a felony. He was Mr. Respectful then. Idiot. Seriously, said he had been through a CC class but didn't get the permit and must have missed the part were they tell you its against the law to bring it onto federal property concealed and loaded.
OK done with that. Slowly getting back into the groove of life. Running again, not much but its helping. I was wondering for awhile if I'd ever finish school. That's a really nagging feeling at times when most things in life seem like an up hill battle. How do you talk about what is bringing you down without bringing others down as well? If somebody ever figures it out please let me know. I guess in the mean time I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Nice thing about running, you can think about stuff or choose not to but in the end you can still feel good about what you just did. I do anyway.
That's it for now. Thanks for reading.

"Dreams are like clouds.."

Challenge....Quick name the movie the title came from.....one of my favs (hint: its a western)

Just had a bubble burst from under me today. I was doing some research for my last bit of homework and found out that the business I was looking to get into is really a bad choice. You have to love what you do but have another form of income and hope you make enough to cover expenses. Sad. Well, sort of. I like the game and playing is fun but...I don't know. Guess its time to consider a different business opportunity. In case you were wondering, I was looking at opening a paintball park. I did have concerns about this but had not really looked at it until today. About the one thing I am sure of is I don't have the passion for the game enough to run a barely there business.  Sad I know but honest. 

On another note I am open to other ideas people so shoot. Hey maybe I'll look into that. Selling guns. I like guns. I like drinking too but I know Bri would not let me open a bar. What is really funny about that is when I was in high school I had plans on opening a dance club/something (bar maybe). I even had the place picked out and how I was going to do it. Had that dream for quite a while and was also looking at opening a car wash like the one I worked at in high school. It was Owen and Marylynn that had inspired me to be an entrepreneur in the first place. Owen would stop and ask me business questions that dealt with customer service all the time and really got me interested in that. At this point though I am not sure what direction I'm going to take but I haven't dropped the idea of owning my own business.

My wife, bless her heart, might have reached her limit. I am tired of watching a volunteer work her butt off only to have some slag come behind backs and closed doors to undermine everything that is or has been done. I hate seeing that crap just in general but to watch somebody do it to someone I love, well, its not good (those that know, know what I mean). I want her to quit but she is going to make her own choices. Anyway this person is an egomaniac (absolutely has to be recognized for every thing that is done), refuses to give up power and allow people to do the jobs they have volunteered to do. Many wonder why they hold the position if the work is going to be done for them. Honestly me too. If things don't change I can see the organization slowly floating down the sewer. OK, enough of that. 

Guess we are done for now...Thanks for reading.

Who's life is it anyway?

Today is day 64 and 430. I have gone without soda for 430 days now and am quite happy with that. Day 64 is without facebook. I am happy with that as well. Bri still thinks I will break on the facebook thing. Funny thing is, with the exception of a precious few (like 2-3) people I don't miss it. One big reason is I can stay out of the the silly drama that inevitably seems to unfold on facebook. It seems like one big party line now, 'cept with computers and smart phones instead of telephones.
Anyway, off that tangent, my boys just finished a science fair for fourth and fifth grades. They did really well and I'm very proud but I'm also a tad bit upset with judges. Do I think both should have come out on top, of course I'm a dad and that's the way dads think, but I was not there and could not say for sure without seeing all of the other projects, did see a couple in the morning and one on-line. On-line? Yea, Bri showed it to me from facebook (no that doesn't count). All that I saw looked pretty good, one was strangely exceptional, hhhhmmm. Now, what I'm upset with is how do you give awards to kids that obviously did not do their own work? Ya see, I'll help my boys but they won't learn squat if I do the work for them and also if you do their project are you proud of their work or your own? Struggling to not blog angry here. I have deleted about four different comments now. Most of it was about parenting and I think one was about society in general. As you might have guessed none of it was very ....nice. So I guess I'll stop with that for now cause all I'm doing now is just getting pissed thinking about it all and other events that happened.
Guess its time to run some of this anger out. Thanks for reading. See ya.

I've snow idea what the problem is.

Ok, so to provide an example of what I meant in my previous post. We took our kids for some sleding action a couple of days ago on a street not far from us. When we got there three people were out in the street a ways from us and one was not happy. Well it turns out that two of the three were from the streets dept. of the city the other was a very upset woman raising Cain about how...wait for it...the snow plows plowed the snow she had shoveled into the street right back into her driveway. To the guys credit they were polite and respectful struggling to explain what she did wrong and how to fix it. Ya, she wasn't to receptive about that. She obviously does not subscribe to the "work smarter, not harder."
Just for the record, it has been years since my street has been plowed within a week of it snowing. Thanks guys, good job.

I just don't snow about some people.

Keep in mind he is significantly bigger than this now.

I have a very active and easily bored Siberian Husky German Shepard mix. If you don't give him enough attention and exercise he tends to get destructive out of boredom. Not very good when he is contained in say...my garage for a period of time like over night or on long rainy days. Anyway I took the energetic not so little knucklehead out for a run/walk around my block and was once again intrigued at the actions of some people as they clean their driveways and side walks in between the snowstorms here in the mid-west.
First let me say I am an Infantry Marine and therefore believe in the adage "work smarter not harder" when it comes to a lot of things. So you can imagine my continued puzzlement when I see, not just one occasion either, people shoveling or blowing the snow into a street that has not been plowed yet. Ya, I have really tried to grasp the concept behind this activity but I am coming up blank. So if any one out there has a good explanation for this one please comment.
Oh, by the way it was a quick mile and half around the bock today. Not a bad run either with just enough workout in the patches of unshoveled sidewalks through out the trip. He must of had a pretty good work out too cause he didn't want to do much when we got back home. All I can say is I'm thankful for anti-pull harnesses or he would pull me onto the ground from a standstill.

Knot again...

Laying in bed. Thinking to myself, I should sleep. I try. Trouble is staying asleep. This is the part where I go all Matrix on ya and ask, "Have you ever had a dream so real...?" The last few months have been one big blur. My days and nights roll and twist together into one big Gordian knot. I actually stood there at one point today while talking with my son and had to decypher what was a dream and what was memory. Bri will tell me this is normal for some people and I'm sure it is. Its just hard some days, like trying to walk through heavy fog.
Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend doing next to nothing with my family. I played some games with my kids, discovered and new recipe that we all love and was even a little productive on school work. I feel like I could have done all my honey-do list and would not feel I have been as productive as I feel now. Still had some bumpy spots but nobody got hurt or is in jail. Not much left to say on this post, until next time, keep it real people.

Don't Blog Angry, Don't Blog Angry

I have no idea what has happened to my good mood today but it sure has taken a turn south. In a real bad way. Topper was when my kitchen sink started to leak again. Note the word 'again'. Now just so you know I am not a bad plumber. I am a horrible plumber. My work time is easily triple the normal time and lengthened also by the number of trips, yes plural, to the hardware store. So when my loving wife informs me that the sink I have fixed already about three times, naturally I had a less than pleasant response. One day I'm going to call a real plumber and get it fixed right.
O.K. now that I have that out of my system.

Eye see you.

What matters most to you? Seems like such a simple question right? What first comes to mind when trying to answer that question is going to say a lot about a person. It gives others an insight on what is really close to a person's heart. The other side of that same coin there is how we chose to view this person for his/her answer. Do we look at him/her with a critical eye or merely accept him/her for who he/she is? This too, will say a lot about a person. It is also the easiest one to overlook in ourselves. I know far to often lately I have had the critical eye. I wonder, is it a sign of age or arrogance?

Vampires, magicians, and werewolves oh my.

As I sit here listening to my wife's latest show she has taken to watching. I can't help but think about how this latest trend has gone...well silly and disturbing in one movement. We as a society have grown ingress fascinated with what was once a terror. Vampires, psychopathic killers, zombies, and cults have become mainstream. "Reality " TV "stars " and self absorbed sports and entertainment personalities have become our heroes. We as a nation have developed the entitlement attitude and lost the concept that our nation's pursuit of happiness is meant to be earned and not given. What is worse about the whole blessed ordeal is we don't seem to take responsibility for our own actions or lack there of. Its frustrating, sad, and I hope I am able to teach my kids how to correct where we went wrong. Because sadly, I think it will be up to them to fix it.

What makes your hero?

Lance, Lance, Lance. I'm am tired of sports figures and entertainers worshiped as heroes and idols. A true role model is not someone doing anything for personal gain but for the gain of others. I think this inward focus on "me" as fostered by today's sports figures and entertainers is a big reason why there is a decline in respect for one another among ...well society really, not just youth. If we had more respect for one another I imagine there would be less bullying, rape, and murders. Just a thought.

Goodyear? No I'm tired.

Starting off this year tired and having a hard time kickstarting into a regular workout routine. I have managed to take my dog out for some sprints around the block. He can really wear me out. He is huge and strong and not done growing yet. The people we got him from said Siberian Husky mix. I 'm thinking Malamute, German Shepherd mix just because of size and coloring. My son thinks huskies and malamutes are pure if they have light blue eyes. That's just a myth really, eye color is not a reliable sign of breeding. Anyway he all but yanks me on my face and pulls me along. He is definitely a sled dog. Problem is he craps out after a half mile. Ya, he hasn't had a lot of distance training from his previous owner. I'm hoping. To change that.
Restless sleep and bad dreams have been keeping my energy levels at a minimum. There are some days where I don't even want to sleep but I know I would be worthless later on. So I have been living on water and caffeine. Oh and sugar. Not good I know but oh well.